It steals her breath away to see that look in his eye now, makes her glad for her darker complexion because it'll hide the flush on her cheeks far better than his skin will ever have a chance to. She feels warm all over, almost like she can feel the path his eyes track over her as if it were his hands mapping out the places on her body that capture his attention.
He's never looked at anyone that way, and she's never liked being looked at like that. It makes all of this feel even more surreal, goes even farther to convincing her this really is a dream. She'll wake up in her own cold bed and they'll go on with their lives like they always do.
If this is her only chance beating around the bush is starting to feel more and more detrimental, so she holds her hand out to him, beckons him closer.]
[ If he looks closely, he thinks he can see her blush. Maybe. It's hard to tell with her complexion—unlike his, which in typical Kerch fashion would let everyone a mile away see him blush if he did.
At her urging, he slots closer, cautiously puts his hand in hers and braces himself for a bad memory. Nothing happens and he's relieved. And now very curious to see what she wants. ]
[ He goes with her tugging and settles back down, looping a...possibly possessive arm around her waist. It feels good, touching her so casually. Hard to imagine he's even doing it, especially after dreaming of it for longer than he'd like to admit. ]
I wasn't sure about this. [ Really, part of him still isn't. He doesn't know if he trusts himself to figure out how to get over his problems. ]
[Again he surprises her, but she gives him nothing but encouragement as she curls towards him when he reaches for her. Cuddling is maybe not what she had in mind, she just wanted them to be closer, to kiss him again, but it's impossible not to reach back when he shows her it's okay.
Her arm slips around his waist in return and she gives him a smile, small and warm.]
It doesn't show.
[You're doing well is what she means, what she hopes he hears but isn't foolish enough to say out loud.]
[ This is a lot of touch. Not as much as it had been a number of minuted ago, but she's still curled towards him, arms wrapped around his middle. Somehow, though, it's soothing, their shared warmth going down to his bones.
Kaz tilts his head down to press his nose to the top of her head, the smell of her shampoo filling his senses. It's a little dimmer now and he thinks maybe he can catch how she smells underneath that. ]
Flatterer. [ The response is muffled, because he really doesn't want to move. And maybe he doesn't enunciate very well, feeling some tiredness creep in. ]
[He knows her better than that. It's simply the truth, and he only proves it with what he's doing now. It's shocking to her how much she likes this, his nose in her hair and their arms curled around each other, but what surprises her the most is how he's made this happen by his own choice. He's the one who put an arm around her, who decided to nuzzle the top of her head.
She's never felt like this before and she wants to tell him, wants to let him know that this is special, but even now it feels too dangerous. The bubble will burst eventually and when it does she'll need to put the pieces back together. The less she reveals, the easier it will be to hide what this means.
[ He does know her better than that, but something approaching humor is a universal deflector. Under her words, there was something else, a more serious sentiment, and he isn't quite ready to tackle it. Before he does, he'll have to ruminate on it, think over his words.
No enacting a plan without considering it from as many angles as possible. It's probably not the right way to go about it, but it's what he has.
For now though, he's content like this, pressed close without any pressure to do anything else. He almost feels weightless. In several ways. ]
Then come kiss me. [ He pulls away from where he has his face pressed into her hair, catching her gaze with an almost cocky air. ]
[She makes the humming sound while that small smile makes another appearance, amusement making her eyes a little brighter in the warm light filtering through his window and warming up their bed, finally. Amusement and warmth, clear affection, and she shakes her head.]
Not yet.
[Instead she pulls herself away from him, but only a little. Only enough to pull the covers up over her chest to make sure that when she slips her top off over her head, he won't actually see anything. He'll be stuck with the knowledge that she's now entirely naked next to him, under his covers where he can't see it just yet. She's exposed, vulnerable, and there for him to touch or look at only when he's ready.
It's to knock that cocky look off his face as much as it is to put the power in his hands so he doesn't have to be afraid of anything, honestly.
And then she shifts close again, reaching up to curl her fingers in his hair and bring his head down to hers.
Now, apparently, is when he gets his kiss. It's soft, not demanding, her lips brushing over his in an invitation for him to deepen it, but again she leaves all the power in his hands.]
[ She smiles and he feels his heart skip a beat. He wants her to do that more often, wishes she had more to be happy about. And right now, with the way the light's starting to slant into the room, she's almost backlit—the sun giving her a hair the effect of a crown. It gives her skin a warmer color, burnished and bright, almost like her personality is shining through.
He might be staring a lot when she sits up and tugs her shirt off. Knowing she's bare under the blankets is almost too much to process and all he wants is to see. And alright, he wants to touch her, because he remembers how it felt earlier. How he could almost feel the pulse under her ribs.
When she leans in to kiss him, he meets it cautiously at first, testing his own body's reaction. His mind doesn't balk so he deepens it with a soft sound, one hand reaching up to skim down her fully bared back. ]
[Again, when he reaches for her and kisses her back, she feels proud of him. Greedy and superior a little because it's her and no one else, but honestly just proud to see him recognize that he has this strength in him. She's proud that the whispers of dirtyhands haven't hardened him, that his past hasn't convinced him he's totally ruined. All she wants is so show him how good he can feel if he just opens himself up and already he's made such strides that he's blown her completely away.
He should be proud, but she doesn't pull back to tell him that. He puts his hand on her back and she curls toward him, almost near enough to touch his chest but still with a few inches separating their bodies. Still conscious of his space, even as he makes sounds that make her want to tip him over and pin him to the bed and kiss him senseless.
She's never wanted that. She had never been more than a passive partner in bed, but she also had never considered what it might be like to be allowed to have what she wanted rather than to follow the orders of someone paying for her. Maybe, because it's Kaz and he's the first person she can remember ever really wanting, everything will be different with him.
Would be different. If it went farther than this perfect, storybook morning.]
[ Somewhere in the back of his mind, he thinks he'd want Inej no matter what. Even if he didn't have a touch aversion that reared up occasionally. Even if he'd been able to take his pick over the years or even entertain the thought of flirting with the women who seemed to take a liking to him.
Because he's never felt like this towards anyone, and there's been plenty of women who've worked with him in the Dregs. None of them were Inej though, with her quiet laugh and soft steps. Or her devotion to both the Saints and waffles in almost equal measure.
(Certainly, none of them have been a person he's nearly risked re-breaking his leg for while trying to carry their close to unconscious body).
His hand stops at the small of her back, settles in the dip there and tugs her closer. He wants to feel her weight settled atop him, however she decides to do that. ]
[For Inej, there hasn't ever been an option that wasn't Kaz. No one else has held her attention the way he does, has felt like the right combination of safe and worthy of her time as him. And there's no discounting the admittedly childish fact that she can't help but think of him as a knight in not so shining armor, the dark stranger come to save a girl like her from her awful life.
She's not naive enough to think it was done because he had wanted her as a person. He wanted her skills, she knows that, is fine with it. These silly thoughts are just that, silly, secret things she would never be stupid enough to admit to out loud. No one with any sense would skip a beat in teasing her for it and it would only hurt her reputation, hurt his.
But it's still there. Hidden under layers of sense, that childish, romantic thought is still there.
When he tugs there's no resistance from her, just the gentle weight of her giving him what he wants and laying lightly against his chest. This is so much more intimate than before, her bare chest against his, one hand resting on his hip for balance so she doesn't topple completely on top of him. That he might want that isn't something she's considered just yet, but if he gave another tug she'd go right where he wanted her.]
[ She stops herself from falling onto him, so the line of her body isn't quite as pressed to his as he wants it be. Still, that first brush of her chest to his causes a flare of want to sear through him, makes him a little bolder. He lightly tugs at her bottom lip with his teeth when he pulls away from the kiss, breath coming up short.
Then, he's dipping his head lower to kiss the side of her neck, wondering if he can leave a mark somehow. Or maybe she wouldn't want it? It would certainly be difficult to hide.
Instead, he settles for trying to pull her closer again, hoping she gets the message that it's ok. ]
[The sound she makes against his lips when his teeth come into play is soft, surprised, but clearly one of encouragement. A sign she likes that, or likes him doing it.
Or likes that it's him doing it. Probably that.
He's bolder than she expected, searching out the things he wants in a way she would have thought would take him longer. He seems so sure of himself now, and sure that he wants her, and it makes her all but melt into him when he pulls her in.
The marks he may or may not leave could be problematic if they were spotted, but they do so much of their work under the cover of darkness that Inej can't bring herself to care. Rather than scold him her hand presses to the back of his head, fingers curling through his hair and giving the slightest pressure to keep his mouth there, show him that's okay.
And if he wants her closer still, he gets his wish. Her leg slots between his and she lets her body settle over his, drape against him like a warm blanket.]
[ Her weight settles on him more fully and he lets out a soft sigh against her neck. It's a strange comfort, the way she's draped across him. Really, he shouldn't like it, shouldn't be into the pressure that her body presents, but his mind doesn't react with any negativity.
Instead, he follows her urging, scrapes his teeth lightly across her pulse point and then sucks a mark onto her skin. It's not very visible with how dark she is, but still easily spotted if someone were to look. He slides his hand lower, palming her ass briefly, especially when she slips her leg between his; she's sure to feel how he's half hard again under the sheet.
Though, he thinks even if this doesn't go any further, he's content. It's that same feeling he gets when she perches on his sill and feeds the crows while he's doing paperwork. Something close to domestic, serene. ]
[She can wear her braid wrapped around her neck, wear her hood up. It's not something she's worried about in the least, not when the act of him putting it there feels so good.
A man putting such a claiming mark on her is something she used to hate, but it's a well known feeling to her by now that Kaz is above literally every person she could be with. It's why if he wants more than this, kissing and touching and his bold hands grabbing at her, she'll give it without hesitation. It's why if he doesn't, if he just palms her ass and sucks marks into her neck she'll just be happy to feel him touching her.
It shouldn't be so simple, but there they are.
She is a little curious about what he wants, though, so when she settles over him she doesn't miss the chance to slide her thigh against his growing erection. A part of her is urging her to go even farther, to sling her leg over him and straddle him and show him just what he can have, but... Well, she's learning that she likes making him take what he wants, making him ask for it.]
[ Truthfully, he doesn't have an exact goal in mind. All he's really thinking about is how he wants to know her shape, wants to revel in the fact that he's able to touch her right now, in this moment. It feels a bit like stealing for the first time, seeing what he can get away with before his mind or body decides to revolt. ]
Did you ever dream about this? [ The words are murmured against her neck, though he pulls away a bit to see her expression. Dreaming was all he had before, too afraid of the risk. In his imagination, he could touch without worry, sometimes thought about fucking her.
Or would it be her fucking him, if she's straddling his hips?
Either way, he'd always felt guilty after, even if he had no control over what his mind came up with while he was sleeping. He was (and is) all too aware of where Inej comes from, doesn't ever want her to feel powerless or like an object ever again. ]
[That he asks surprises her and that shows in the way her eyebrows raise a little, but only because it makes her wonder if he's asking because he has. Does he dream about her?
Is it terrible if she admits that she assumed Kaz Brekker either didn't dream at all or only dreamt of his next big score? She certainly never would have expected he would dream about the things ordinary teenage boys dream of.]
Sometimes.
[She gives him honesty because it feels like if she doesn't, if any of this happens with lies or half truths between them it won't matter, won't count. It's so unlikely, such a rare event, that she won't ruin it by being evasive.]
[ Was that a step too far? Her eyebrows go up, which indicates some kind of surprise, but he isn't at first sure if it's a good one. Her answer isn't defensive or evasive though, and he wonders if she figured he never had such dreams. From an outside perspective, it seems so unlikely. ]
Like what? [ Color him curious. A dream may not always reflect what someone really wants, but maybe he could get an idea. He wants to know what she wants, because chances are he'll enjoy whatever it happens to be.
(And honestly, he doesn't know enough about any of this, even having listened to idle and lewd chatter in the Club). ]
[She smiles and brushes a kiss over his neck, not biting or leaving marks like he is when she's so aware of how any kind of bruises would show on his pale, pale skin. It's just something gentle, affectionate.]
Things like that.
[And then she shifts and just- does it. She slides herself over him properly, legs on either side of his hips. She's entirely naked now as she sits up on top of him, settled on his hips just barely out of range of actually sitting herself directly down on his cock. It's still almost aggressively suggestive, but something tells her he won't mind it.]
[ The kiss is so light he almost doesn't register it at first. It sends a small shiver through him and he feels a wave of affection; it makes him want to just hold her until they both fall back asleep.
(A strange urge for someone like him, who has such a complicated relationship with touch in the first place).
All of that is quickly replaced by a rapidly spreading warmth when she up and straddles his hips, her whole body on display. Kaz can't help but stare, nearly dumbfounded, gaze remaining on her face for probably longer than expected. And then it slowly drops, admiring every curve and line. He visibly hesitates before reaching out to touch her, fingers skimming along her collarbone. ]
This is how it was, more often than I can count. [ His dreams rarely had him pinning her down, it was usually the opposite. Having it happen now, he can't say his interest wanes any at the reality. ]
[He looks at her like she's something special and it makes her feel warm all the way through, worthwhile in a way that has little do with the fact that she's naked and much more to do with the fact that she's here with him at all. Her perceptions of what he wants have been slowly shifting, but he hasn't shown her anything except the truth.
He cares about her. She thinks it's possible that he has for even longer than he realized himself.
When he reaches for her she lifts her hand up to stroke along the warm, pale skin of his arm, a touch that she hopes shows him that she more than welcomes his exploration. She doesn't guide his hand, just lets her fingertips brush over him so he knows she wants him to keep going.]
[ A small shiver runs through him when she touches him, her fingers light on his skin. He starts to feel the beginning of dread and sucks in a deep breath, hand dropping to her chest. His palm settles right above her heart, using that as a ground when more of that dread wells up.
Instead of clamming up, he focuses on the splay of his fingers on her chest and keeps talking. ]
You pinned my hands above my head, took control. [ That doesn't come out how he wants, ends up sounding tense and wobbly. But he remembers, distantly, how he'd felt waking up from that dream. How thrilling it was that her dream self had been able to touch him so much. That he's trusted her enough to let it happen. ]
[The bad thing about him bottling up the fact that the sound he makes is because of fear and not a sound caused by being pleased by her touch is that she has no idea he's struggling when he makes it. He breathes in deeply, yes, but he also settles his hand between her breasts, fingers spanning wide across her chest like he wants to touch, to be touched.
His voice, though, gives her pause. This isn't the way he sounded before, soft and eager and maybe slightly embarrassed, and she searches his face for signs of him being truthful, of there being something wrong here.
If he were showing her that everything was fine she might do what she had in his dream, take his arms and pin him down and move against him to make him fully hard again, but that seems like an awful thing to do to him when he's showing her that he's struggling now.
Instead she puts one hand on his, presses it to her chest a little tighter so he feels the warmth of her skin, feels her heart beating steadily, and she guides his other hand up to rest on her hip.]
And you knew that it was me, just us. You knew it was safe.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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It steals her breath away to see that look in his eye now, makes her glad for her darker complexion because it'll hide the flush on her cheeks far better than his skin will ever have a chance to. She feels warm all over, almost like she can feel the path his eyes track over her as if it were his hands mapping out the places on her body that capture his attention.
He's never looked at anyone that way, and she's never liked being looked at like that. It makes all of this feel even more surreal, goes even farther to convincing her this really is a dream. She'll wake up in her own cold bed and they'll go on with their lives like they always do.
If this is her only chance beating around the bush is starting to feel more and more detrimental, so she holds her hand out to him, beckons him closer.]
Come here.
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At her urging, he slots closer, cautiously puts his hand in hers and braces himself for a bad memory. Nothing happens and he's relieved. And now very curious to see what she wants. ]
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I mean lay down, Kaz. We don't have to get up yet.
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I wasn't sure about this. [ Really, part of him still isn't. He doesn't know if he trusts himself to figure out how to get over his problems. ]
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Her arm slips around his waist in return and she gives him a smile, small and warm.]
It doesn't show.
[You're doing well is what she means, what she hopes he hears but isn't foolish enough to say out loud.]
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Kaz tilts his head down to press his nose to the top of her head, the smell of her shampoo filling his senses. It's a little dimmer now and he thinks maybe he can catch how she smells underneath that. ]
Flatterer. [ The response is muffled, because he really doesn't want to move. And maybe he doesn't enunciate very well, feeling some tiredness creep in. ]
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[He knows her better than that. It's simply the truth, and he only proves it with what he's doing now. It's shocking to her how much she likes this, his nose in her hair and their arms curled around each other, but what surprises her the most is how he's made this happen by his own choice. He's the one who put an arm around her, who decided to nuzzle the top of her head.
She's never felt like this before and she wants to tell him, wants to let him know that this is special, but even now it feels too dangerous. The bubble will burst eventually and when it does she'll need to put the pieces back together. The less she reveals, the easier it will be to hide what this means.
But he deserves to know some of her truth.]
I want to kiss you again.
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No enacting a plan without considering it from as many angles as possible. It's probably not the right way to go about it, but it's what he has.
For now though, he's content like this, pressed close without any pressure to do anything else. He almost feels weightless. In several ways. ]
Then come kiss me. [ He pulls away from where he has his face pressed into her hair, catching her gaze with an almost cocky air. ]
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[She makes the humming sound while that small smile makes another appearance, amusement making her eyes a little brighter in the warm light filtering through his window and warming up their bed, finally. Amusement and warmth, clear affection, and she shakes her head.]
Not yet.
[Instead she pulls herself away from him, but only a little. Only enough to pull the covers up over her chest to make sure that when she slips her top off over her head, he won't actually see anything. He'll be stuck with the knowledge that she's now entirely naked next to him, under his covers where he can't see it just yet. She's exposed, vulnerable, and there for him to touch or look at only when he's ready.
It's to knock that cocky look off his face as much as it is to put the power in his hands so he doesn't have to be afraid of anything, honestly.
And then she shifts close again, reaching up to curl her fingers in his hair and bring his head down to hers.
Now, apparently, is when he gets his kiss. It's soft, not demanding, her lips brushing over his in an invitation for him to deepen it, but again she leaves all the power in his hands.]
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He might be staring a lot when she sits up and tugs her shirt off. Knowing she's bare under the blankets is almost too much to process and all he wants is to see. And alright, he wants to touch her, because he remembers how it felt earlier. How he could almost feel the pulse under her ribs.
When she leans in to kiss him, he meets it cautiously at first, testing his own body's reaction. His mind doesn't balk so he deepens it with a soft sound, one hand reaching up to skim down her fully bared back. ]
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He should be proud, but she doesn't pull back to tell him that. He puts his hand on her back and she curls toward him, almost near enough to touch his chest but still with a few inches separating their bodies. Still conscious of his space, even as he makes sounds that make her want to tip him over and pin him to the bed and kiss him senseless.
She's never wanted that. She had never been more than a passive partner in bed, but she also had never considered what it might be like to be allowed to have what she wanted rather than to follow the orders of someone paying for her. Maybe, because it's Kaz and he's the first person she can remember ever really wanting, everything will be different with him.
Would be different. If it went farther than this perfect, storybook morning.]
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Because he's never felt like this towards anyone, and there's been plenty of women who've worked with him in the Dregs. None of them were Inej though, with her quiet laugh and soft steps. Or her devotion to both the Saints and waffles in almost equal measure.
(Certainly, none of them have been a person he's nearly risked re-breaking his leg for while trying to carry their close to unconscious body).
His hand stops at the small of her back, settles in the dip there and tugs her closer. He wants to feel her weight settled atop him, however she decides to do that. ]
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She's not naive enough to think it was done because he had wanted her as a person. He wanted her skills, she knows that, is fine with it. These silly thoughts are just that, silly, secret things she would never be stupid enough to admit to out loud. No one with any sense would skip a beat in teasing her for it and it would only hurt her reputation, hurt his.
But it's still there. Hidden under layers of sense, that childish, romantic thought is still there.
When he tugs there's no resistance from her, just the gentle weight of her giving him what he wants and laying lightly against his chest. This is so much more intimate than before, her bare chest against his, one hand resting on his hip for balance so she doesn't topple completely on top of him. That he might want that isn't something she's considered just yet, but if he gave another tug she'd go right where he wanted her.]
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Then, he's dipping his head lower to kiss the side of her neck, wondering if he can leave a mark somehow. Or maybe she wouldn't want it? It would certainly be difficult to hide.
Instead, he settles for trying to pull her closer again, hoping she gets the message that it's ok. ]
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Or likes that it's him doing it. Probably that.
He's bolder than she expected, searching out the things he wants in a way she would have thought would take him longer. He seems so sure of himself now, and sure that he wants her, and it makes her all but melt into him when he pulls her in.
The marks he may or may not leave could be problematic if they were spotted, but they do so much of their work under the cover of darkness that Inej can't bring herself to care. Rather than scold him her hand presses to the back of his head, fingers curling through his hair and giving the slightest pressure to keep his mouth there, show him that's okay.
And if he wants her closer still, he gets his wish. Her leg slots between his and she lets her body settle over his, drape against him like a warm blanket.]
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Instead, he follows her urging, scrapes his teeth lightly across her pulse point and then sucks a mark onto her skin. It's not very visible with how dark she is, but still easily spotted if someone were to look. He slides his hand lower, palming her ass briefly, especially when she slips her leg between his; she's sure to feel how he's half hard again under the sheet.
Though, he thinks even if this doesn't go any further, he's content. It's that same feeling he gets when she perches on his sill and feeds the crows while he's doing paperwork. Something close to domestic, serene. ]
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A man putting such a claiming mark on her is something she used to hate, but it's a well known feeling to her by now that Kaz is above literally every person she could be with. It's why if he wants more than this, kissing and touching and his bold hands grabbing at her, she'll give it without hesitation. It's why if he doesn't, if he just palms her ass and sucks marks into her neck she'll just be happy to feel him touching her.
It shouldn't be so simple, but there they are.
She is a little curious about what he wants, though, so when she settles over him she doesn't miss the chance to slide her thigh against his growing erection. A part of her is urging her to go even farther, to sling her leg over him and straddle him and show him just what he can have, but... Well, she's learning that she likes making him take what he wants, making him ask for it.]
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Did you ever dream about this? [ The words are murmured against her neck, though he pulls away a bit to see her expression. Dreaming was all he had before, too afraid of the risk. In his imagination, he could touch without worry, sometimes thought about fucking her.
Or would it be her fucking him, if she's straddling his hips?
Either way, he'd always felt guilty after, even if he had no control over what his mind came up with while he was sleeping. He was (and is) all too aware of where Inej comes from, doesn't ever want her to feel powerless or like an object ever again. ]
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Is it terrible if she admits that she assumed Kaz Brekker either didn't dream at all or only dreamt of his next big score? She certainly never would have expected he would dream about the things ordinary teenage boys dream of.]
Sometimes.
[She gives him honesty because it feels like if she doesn't, if any of this happens with lies or half truths between them it won't matter, won't count. It's so unlikely, such a rare event, that she won't ruin it by being evasive.]
Not... exactly this. But close.
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Like what? [ Color him curious. A dream may not always reflect what someone really wants, but maybe he could get an idea. He wants to know what she wants, because chances are he'll enjoy whatever it happens to be.
(And honestly, he doesn't know enough about any of this, even having listened to idle and lewd chatter in the Club). ]
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Things like that.
[And then she shifts and just- does it. She slides herself over him properly, legs on either side of his hips. She's entirely naked now as she sits up on top of him, settled on his hips just barely out of range of actually sitting herself directly down on his cock. It's still almost aggressively suggestive, but something tells her he won't mind it.]
Things like this, too.
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(A strange urge for someone like him, who has such a complicated relationship with touch in the first place).
All of that is quickly replaced by a rapidly spreading warmth when she up and straddles his hips, her whole body on display. Kaz can't help but stare, nearly dumbfounded, gaze remaining on her face for probably longer than expected. And then it slowly drops, admiring every curve and line. He visibly hesitates before reaching out to touch her, fingers skimming along her collarbone. ]
This is how it was, more often than I can count. [ His dreams rarely had him pinning her down, it was usually the opposite. Having it happen now, he can't say his interest wanes any at the reality. ]
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He cares about her. She thinks it's possible that he has for even longer than he realized himself.
When he reaches for her she lifts her hand up to stroke along the warm, pale skin of his arm, a touch that she hopes shows him that she more than welcomes his exploration. She doesn't guide his hand, just lets her fingertips brush over him so he knows she wants him to keep going.]
What else happened?
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Instead of clamming up, he focuses on the splay of his fingers on her chest and keeps talking. ]
You pinned my hands above my head, took control. [ That doesn't come out how he wants, ends up sounding tense and wobbly. But he remembers, distantly, how he'd felt waking up from that dream. How thrilling it was that her dream self had been able to touch him so much. That he's trusted her enough to let it happen. ]
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His voice, though, gives her pause. This isn't the way he sounded before, soft and eager and maybe slightly embarrassed, and she searches his face for signs of him being truthful, of there being something wrong here.
If he were showing her that everything was fine she might do what she had in his dream, take his arms and pin him down and move against him to make him fully hard again, but that seems like an awful thing to do to him when he's showing her that he's struggling now.
Instead she puts one hand on his, presses it to her chest a little tighter so he feels the warmth of her skin, feels her heart beating steadily, and she guides his other hand up to rest on her hip.]
And you knew that it was me, just us. You knew it was safe.
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