ketterdamn: (Default)
kaz brekker ([personal profile] ketterdamn) wrote2019-02-23 10:52 pm

xx

blep
smokewalker: (Default)

[personal profile] smokewalker 2020-02-26 03:05 am (UTC)(link)
[She can see it the moment he decides that he'll let her in, that she matters enough to him to go through the clear struggle this is to allow her to help him become everything she knows he can be. Adjusted, stronger because of it. Maybe happy, if he takes the time to learn what that feels like.

What he says means everything to her and she's proud of him for saying it, but she smiles and shakes her head, turns it just enough to brush a kiss over his wrist.]


It's okay if you do. I can wait.
smokewalker: (I'd roll back both my sleeves)

[personal profile] smokewalker 2020-02-26 03:26 am (UTC)(link)
[That smile does more to warm her than any cup of tea, any warm fire, any blanket freshly brought in off the clothesline, and the funny flip her stomach does is both entirely welcome and a little surprising. She feels far too old to be affected by something so simple and yet her she is, counting down the minutes until she sees Nina again to tell her how right she was in the end.

Holding onto the edge of the blanket, she lays back once more so she can stretch out in his bed. Their bed? The bed, and with her grip on that blanket it means that it'll go tight around him, bring him down with her so his options are curl up or risk it slipping away and being bared to the cold room.]


Hopefully the place won't fall down around your ears if you take such an extensive break.

[She's teasing him, obviously. A few bells feels like an eternity when she's had so little time with him like this.]
smokewalker: (Default)

[personal profile] smokewalker 2020-02-26 03:08 pm (UTC)(link)
With thicker walls.

[It seems an odd thing to say now, but testing out the waters and how he'll react to implying this new thing between them will continue is something she can't help.

The truth is, she doesn't think it will. Inej is convinced that the moment they leave this bed, the moment his clothes and his gloves go on, he'll block this all out. Everything will return to how it was and he'll probably refuse to acknowledge that this intimate, vulnerable moment even happened.

And her heart is ready for that. If it happens she's ready, and there are paths she can shift herself onto that will guide her away from being hurt by him with or without him meaning to. She meant it every time she told him she wanted all of him and if he still can't give it to her after this, what's keeping her here?

Nothing. Hopefully he knows it.]
smokewalker: (Default)

[personal profile] smokewalker 2020-02-26 05:14 pm (UTC)(link)
You could widen the window, too.

[She's naked from the waist down still, shorts and underwear lost somewhere in his sheets, but she can't find it in her to care just yet. She wants more already, to chip away at his resolve until he belongs to her and there's no longer a need to worry about him shutting her out.

These are things she should shut out herself, but it's like a floodgate now, all rushing in and impossible to stop.

So she does something she knows is unkind, the sort of thing Nina would do to be tempting. She reaches up over her head with both arms and arches, a lavish stretch of her back that pulls her sleeveless shirt tight against her breasts, small though they may be. She doesn't have Nina's curves but here, with Kaz, she doesn't she needs them to be a distraction.]
smokewalker: (Default)

[personal profile] smokewalker 2020-02-26 07:38 pm (UTC)(link)
[Despite the fact that she played that card with the hope that it would get the response it does, she's still honestly surprised that it does. Here she had thought for so long that Kaz didn't care about people in this way, that he would never be tempted by something by something she just assumed he considered beneath him.

No one would have claim to buy into the idea that Kaz could be seduced and that's probably who no one has ever tried, so this? This is like a revelation, one Inej has no intention of ever letting leave this room.

She wouldn't have considered herself a jealous person before now, but... Well, this is a side to him she doesn't want to give to anyone else.]

What else would you do?

[The double meaning is there, clear as day but something she would never admit to if he called her on it. She means with the renovations, obviously. If her foot is brushing along his calf while she stretches that's just coincidence.]
smokewalker: (If I could have some say)

[personal profile] smokewalker 2020-02-26 10:45 pm (UTC)(link)
[She's never seen him look at anyone like that.

It steals her breath away to see that look in his eye now, makes her glad for her darker complexion because it'll hide the flush on her cheeks far better than his skin will ever have a chance to. She feels warm all over, almost like she can feel the path his eyes track over her as if it were his hands mapping out the places on her body that capture his attention.

He's never looked at anyone that way, and she's never liked being looked at like that. It makes all of this feel even more surreal, goes even farther to convincing her this really is a dream. She'll wake up in her own cold bed and they'll go on with their lives like they always do.

If this is her only chance beating around the bush is starting to feel more and more detrimental, so she holds her hand out to him, beckons him closer.]


Come here.
smokewalker: (I'd roll back both my sleeves)

[personal profile] smokewalker 2020-02-26 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[With a steady motion that isn't abrupt or demanding in any way, she pulls on his hand, clearly trying to bring him closer.]

I mean lay down, Kaz. We don't have to get up yet.
Edited (why can't I html anymore) 2020-02-26 23:57 (UTC)
smokewalker: (If I could have some say)

[personal profile] smokewalker 2020-02-27 12:19 am (UTC)(link)
[Again he surprises her, but she gives him nothing but encouragement as she curls towards him when he reaches for her. Cuddling is maybe not what she had in mind, she just wanted them to be closer, to kiss him again, but it's impossible not to reach back when he shows her it's okay.

Her arm slips around his waist in return and she gives him a smile, small and warm.]


It doesn't show.

[You're doing well is what she means, what she hopes he hears but isn't foolish enough to say out loud.]
smokewalker: (Default)

[personal profile] smokewalker 2020-02-27 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
No.

[He knows her better than that. It's simply the truth, and he only proves it with what he's doing now. It's shocking to her how much she likes this, his nose in her hair and their arms curled around each other, but what surprises her the most is how he's made this happen by his own choice. He's the one who put an arm around her, who decided to nuzzle the top of her head.

She's never felt like this before and she wants to tell him, wants to let him know that this is special, but even now it feels too dangerous. The bubble will burst eventually and when it does she'll need to put the pieces back together. The less she reveals, the easier it will be to hide what this means.

But he deserves to know some of her truth.]


I want to kiss you again.
smokewalker: (I'd keep you far from home)

[personal profile] smokewalker 2020-02-27 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
Hmm.

[She makes the humming sound while that small smile makes another appearance, amusement making her eyes a little brighter in the warm light filtering through his window and warming up their bed, finally. Amusement and warmth, clear affection, and she shakes her head.]

Not yet.

[Instead she pulls herself away from him, but only a little. Only enough to pull the covers up over her chest to make sure that when she slips her top off over her head, he won't actually see anything. He'll be stuck with the knowledge that she's now entirely naked next to him, under his covers where he can't see it just yet. She's exposed, vulnerable, and there for him to touch or look at only when he's ready.

It's to knock that cocky look off his face as much as it is to put the power in his hands so he doesn't have to be afraid of anything, honestly.

And then she shifts close again, reaching up to curl her fingers in his hair and bring his head down to hers.

Now, apparently, is when he gets his kiss. It's soft, not demanding, her lips brushing over his in an invitation for him to deepen it, but again she leaves all the power in his hands.]
smokewalker: (If I could have one wish)

[personal profile] smokewalker 2020-02-27 01:44 am (UTC)(link)
[Again, when he reaches for her and kisses her back, she feels proud of him. Greedy and superior a little because it's her and no one else, but honestly just proud to see him recognize that he has this strength in him. She's proud that the whispers of dirtyhands haven't hardened him, that his past hasn't convinced him he's totally ruined. All she wants is so show him how good he can feel if he just opens himself up and already he's made such strides that he's blown her completely away.

He should be proud, but she doesn't pull back to tell him that. He puts his hand on her back and she curls toward him, almost near enough to touch his chest but still with a few inches separating their bodies. Still conscious of his space, even as he makes sounds that make her want to tip him over and pin him to the bed and kiss him senseless.

She's never wanted that. She had never been more than a passive partner in bed, but she also had never considered what it might be like to be allowed to have what she wanted rather than to follow the orders of someone paying for her. Maybe, because it's Kaz and he's the first person she can remember ever really wanting, everything will be different with him.

Would be different. If it went farther than this perfect, storybook morning.]
smokewalker: (Default)

[personal profile] smokewalker 2020-02-27 03:18 am (UTC)(link)
[For Inej, there hasn't ever been an option that wasn't Kaz. No one else has held her attention the way he does, has felt like the right combination of safe and worthy of her time as him. And there's no discounting the admittedly childish fact that she can't help but think of him as a knight in not so shining armor, the dark stranger come to save a girl like her from her awful life.

She's not naive enough to think it was done because he had wanted her as a person. He wanted her skills, she knows that, is fine with it. These silly thoughts are just that, silly, secret things she would never be stupid enough to admit to out loud. No one with any sense would skip a beat in teasing her for it and it would only hurt her reputation, hurt his.

But it's still there. Hidden under layers of sense, that childish, romantic thought is still there.

When he tugs there's no resistance from her, just the gentle weight of her giving him what he wants and laying lightly against his chest. This is so much more intimate than before, her bare chest against his, one hand resting on his hip for balance so she doesn't topple completely on top of him. That he might want that isn't something she's considered just yet, but if he gave another tug she'd go right where he wanted her.]

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